This is my Story…
Okie, i have shift my blog to blogspot because of certain reasons, so the next time you visit go to http://forgiven-by-grace.blogspot.com/ ya!
(Don't know if this host will ban me for going to another host...haha)
Now, how am i gonna shift all my post along to the new one?
Yawn… was so sleepy in the morning that I wanted to ‘ponteng’ my chemotherapy today. Knowing that it is impossible, I had no choice but to wait for the dreaded call of my mom to wake me up. But… to my surprise, instead of the usual yelling, she somehow miraculously said that the appointment was tomorrow because last week I did the LP procedure on Tuesday, so the doctor said I needed one more day of rest. Okay, that was one of the best wake up calls since school days, where most of the time it goes: “Faster wake up, you’re already 15 minutes late!” Really thank God for all these little blessings, ha-ha. (Makes me sound like God’s blessing comes in different packages both big and small, ha-ha, in all things give thanks I guess)
But ‘ponteng-ing’ today, somehow makes me feel I am once again procrastinating my so called ‘work’ that I should have done, ha-ha.
Well, another thing I really need to thank God for is the ability and the opportunity to go for my high school class gathering last Saturday. It was really good to be able to see all those familiar faces and talk about those old times we had in school as well as the things we are currently doing now, which, in this case was mostly about where they’re studying, are they going overseas or how were they doing studying overseas, etc. and honestly it kind of got dull just asking that same question over and over again. So, guess I better restrict myself from asking that the next time I meet them.
Okay, and before I continue, just got to give a round of applause and a big shout of THANKS!!! to Rahayu, our PKT (penolong ketua tingkatan, in case you don’t what that means) that organized this whole thing. I know it really isn’t easy to call up and gather all 30++ hooligans to meet up on one day. Oh, and not to forget the hassle to make reservations at Shogun, which served really good Japanese food I must say and the variety is just too much to handle.
One thing about this gathering is that every one of us still looked the same as we were back then during high school. Maybe that’s because all of us stop growing, ha-ha, unlike those primary school reunions where a shorty you remembered could suddenly become some giant the next time you meet him. Well, there are some minor differences; some of us changed our hairstyle, like for me I turned mine to bald, ha-ha. But other than that, most of them were still very like them both inwardly and outwardly which brings back some nostalgic memories. There is this one thing that always amazes me though, the fact that most of my friends could now drive around freely. For those that are really alert I wouldn’t mind, but for those who I know as being super blur and careless being able to drive is like, woah! Is seems like every one has reached a new level. But guess I can’t say much about them though, as I am a much more super lousy driver, ha-ha.
Oooo and I finally manage to watch Pirates of the
Ha-ha, guess I really got to thank God for that beautiful day, where I could hang out in 1-Utama for half a day and catch up with my friends. I can say that was the first time I walk around with my wallet in hand this whole year, which means my first outing, woo-hoo!
Okay, guess I got to go now, need to rest before I start my ‘work’ tomorrow in the hospital!
Ah, how I hope that there’s some kind of machine that could automatically jot down what your mind thinks into words.
That’s because most of the time when I am about to go to sleep on my bed will I think of many “inspirational stuff” to write on my blog. While on the other hand, most of the time when I on the computer and want to seriously start writing the things that were on my head, these “inspirational stuff” would so conveniently and mysteriously disappears out of my mind. Bah~
So, anyways, really thank God for the four weeks break that I had, although it kind of shocked me when my mom told me that the doctor gave me such a long break, as it feels like something is horribly wrong and out of place. That’s what happens when you go to the hospital too often I guess.
The break was really refreshing as I could finally go to other places besides my house, and mingle with all my cousins and relatives once again during my cousin’s wedding, having the opportunity to wear a suit and take many “friendster photo” moments with them (although I seriously look like a ghost… nah, princess seems more like it, with my skin so fair), not to forget that elder brother came back, too, which means more games and fun… yay!
But, I guess all good things come to an end eventually. And now I am undergoing the same treatment I had the first time I got admitted to the hospital… taking the red chemo-drug. Well, I really need to thank God during the first time I had this treatment as it was really easy going, I only had the nausea feeling a day or two (and sometimes completely nothing at all) after the chemo went in and later I would be okay. The only thing that scares me was the duration as the protocol indicated that I needed to stay at least month.
Phew, how relieve was I to hear the doctor say I could go home immediately after the red chemo-drug has been flowed into my body. Go home on the same day I have the treatment? Praise the Lord! Ha-ha. The doctor said that last time I needed to stay in the hospital for a month was because my blood count went hay wired, my white and red cells drop too low and I got to be contained to be monitored and to prevent me from being infected by the dirty outside world, boo hoo. But at the end I decided to stay for a night at least just in case I got terribly nausea and needed to be readmitted. Now all I need to do is visit the doctor every week for one month to get the treatment, but I can go home just that day itself.
Woo-hoo! Guess God has been really gracious to me. Well, there’s one bad thing about this treatment, which is the fact that I need to eat 10 prednisolone pills (steroid pills) a day. (It’s used to kill some of the white cells and to prevent joint pains from the chemotherapy) If I could swallow the pills down really fast it wouldn’t be much of a problem, but the problem is most of the time these pills get stuck on my tongue and it tastes really bitter, ewww. And after a while I will get a really disfigured moon face and a black hole stomach because of the side effect of the pill. The black hole thingy isn’t that bad, as it makes me look forward to meals everyday, yummy. The moon face thing makes me look really like the moon… I guess… but at least that allows me to learn that looks isn’t important as it could just fade away just like that.
Which reminds me that I finally have my hair growing back again, yay, don’t need to look botak. But then again it’s going to drop on the next treatment when I get the blue chemo-drug, as that one really is the killer. Weirdly though, I am looking forward to the dropping of hair as I would really want to take a picture of my head when that happens, first because I missed taking a photo of it during the first time it happened and at least it gives me something to remember. Honestly speaking it wasn’t easy to accept the fact when my hair started to drop. One part of me says that: “Come on is just hair, it will grow back sooner or later and who cares if you are botak or not, is not like looks are important” but the other part of me was like “Gosh, how long is this going to last, botak just isn’t me, and what will others think of me?”
Well, yeah, but then again, need to thank God for this earthly reminder, as it really tells me that looks really don’t last as it could just fade anytime like that. And besides as time passes by, the looks that we had when we were teenagers would not stay with us. So, better focus on things that are eternal I guess.
Thinking about it, sometimes I just wonder why God wants me to be in this situation, if given a choice I would really hope to go to university and join the rest of my friends. But as I always tell myself: “Even if God could make a time machine He wouldn’t need it, cause He doeth all things well.” God has a plan for me, and besides, this situation would make me special in a way, ha-ha, and allows me to be refined as gold.
Yeah, just as the hymn goes:
“For I know whatever befalls me,
Jesus doeth all things well.”
I take back my word on the “machine that could automatically jot down things that you are thinking”, well, for one thing some things are better left unsaid I guess, and we know how foolish our minds can be at times. Thank God that we don’t speak through minds, otherwise the world would be in utter chaos, ha-ha.
Just imagine if we can see what other people are thinking through this machine:
Student got scolded and punished by headmaster for coming late.
Student thinking in mind: I hope that your pants will be caught on fire and you will trip and fall on a pile of dung when you walk out.
Headmaster with wonder machine: “Oh, so that’s what you’re thinking, DETENTION FOR THE WHOLE YEAR!”
~Yeah, some things are just best left unsaid~ =p
Headache cure liow... YAY~!!! XD
Elder brother came back from Aussie... YAY~!!! XD
Doctor says my next treatment only starts at 4th of July... YAY~!!! XD
That means i can attend for my cousins wedding on the 1st of July... YAY~!!! XD
WOOHOO, guess i got to thank God for the 4 weeks super long break before i go back for a super long treatment...
Well, God has been really good, keke. In all things give thanks to God!
Woah kay...
Was admitted to the hospital on the 5th of June, which was a Monday. Had 2 treatments of chemotherapy, one of them lasted 24 hours, while the other took around 45 minutes. This time the strong chemo-drug was in white color though, in addition to the red, blue and yellow ones I had, whoopee, more too my collection!
On the 6th of June I had my LP procedure; really don’t like this as I can’t move for around 5-6 hours after the procedure mainly because it will cause a massive headache and I need to lie down to pressurize the wound at my back. Arghh, really don’t like the fact that I don’t have the freedom of movement.
But really thank God that this treatment only last for like erm, two days? As on the 7th of June, which was a Wednesday, the doctor said that I could go home if I ‘felt’ okay. Well, I guess even if I did felt ‘not so okay’ then I would lie to him for I really can’t stand staying in the hospital somehow, it could actually make a healthy people feel sick just being in it, or maybe that’s because I stayed in there for too long of a time ha-ha, or perhaps because of the phobia I have with hospital food… ughh. Wednesday went rather well, I was still feeling fine, was able to play few matches of DoTa and had a rather ‘productive’ chat with Teacher Derek and Daniel Mok after the Young Adults fellowship at night.
The nightmare came on the next day. The last few things I can remember before having the massive headache was waking up around eleven something that day, had a bowl of mee soup for lunch and a lime ice-cream. Then I walked to my room to play another game of DoTa when suddenly I don’t feel so ‘okay’ like I think I would be. I was feeling nausea all a sudden and dizziness start creeping in. First I thought it would only last a moment, perhaps because I ate too much that’s why I vomited? So I went to throw out everything only to find out the headache was still there. Guess the only thing I could do was go to sleep then and lie down, as the dizziness became way too serious.
So, then I thought this weird headache would recover the next day. But it lasted like until now. Really thank God that the headache got very much better after a week since that day. Naturally at the beginning I was kind of afraid, having such a massive headache and all, so I check my handy book of “Childhood leukemia” and check on the chemo-drug that was done during the LP procedure. Viola, the chemo-drug that was injected through the spine (which was different from the 24 hours and 45 minutes chemo-drug) had a side effect of causing headaches, as the drug somehow messes with the cerebrospinal fluid which is found in the brain and spinal cord.
Because of this headache, basically I only have a time span of around 30 minutes to 2 hours of standing up or sitting down, and after that I got to rest lying down as the headache gets too severe and my neck aches like crazy. After around 3 hours plus of rest then I could last for another period of time again before I got to withdraw to the comfort of my bed. So basically whenever I could be able to move around would be the time for me to eat my breakfast, lunch and dinner, and perhaps half a match of the world cup ha-ha. And the rest of the time I would be lying on the bed. Funny thing is that I could last longer moving out of my bed at night compared to during the day, maybe it’s because there’s this other side effect which gives me extreme sun sensitivity, no idea what that means though haha.
Hmmm, well maybe I should make it clearer. The headache is more of dizziness than pain. Just imagine yourself circling for like 20 circles and you’ll get that feeling (Man, makes me remember of those spinning cups in theme parks which makes me go, ughh). If only I could immediately dose of when I lie down in bed because of the headache, that would be excellent. But as I was dizzy and not tired or sleepy, I basically just lie down with my mind still being active, which can be troublesome at times as I got really bored then. And since I have this “TAK NAK” policy to books, the only alternative was playing the guitar while lying on the bed. Ha-ha, at least that wouldn’t make my guitar rust and rot at a corner. And when I actually did manage to sleep I would have these weird dreams out of no where. One was being back to school and the first thing the teacher asked was to hand up out assignments. Not another this type of dream I thought, if it wasn’t about school then it would be about handing up tuition homework , which somehow I always didn’t do in the dream. Man, makes me wonder how am I going to adjust to school life after the whole treatment, ha-ha. And there was this other dream where I was dreaming of movie trailers. The weird thing is that non off the movies trailers that I dreamt of actually exist in present time, is a ‘campur’ of every movie I can remember, and somehow it does end up to be a perfect trailer, I think ha-ha. When I woke up after that dream I was like: “Man, that’s full of crap!” As it really was lame and funny somehow.
Had a check up with my doctor the next Monday after that treatment, and he said that I was perfectly fine. His reason was that the chemotherapy through the spinal cord has upset the equilibrium of the cerebrospinal fluid and cause the headache. And since he was going to
Well, thank God again that it did got much better by Wednesday, could stay out of bed for longer periods of time and was improving by each day. I am still having the headaches and backbone aches as of now, only thing is that the headache only starts to react if I change position, which means from sitting to standing to lying down, I would have the headache for a minute or two and then it will settle down and I would feel just like normal, which was much better considering the fact that I was having a non-stop headache just a week ago.
Still, all in all, thank God that I did not need to get readmitted for that will be a total nightmare, worst than the one where I go back to school, blek. And a very big thanks to everyone that prayed for me constantly, keke. Well, I guess suffering hard once in a while would allow a person to go back to the right track, as it reminds us to trust in the Lord always and know that God’s plan is always the perfect plan.
Bah~ Once again laziness has made me not being able to update my blog regularly and resulted in many heads wondering on my situation now. Ha-ha, really sorry for that, as there are times when i want to update my blog but i get either too tired or too sick during the treatment, and when i am well, there's always something else that will distract me from actually doing it like games and playing the guitar, blek.
So erm, status report?
When back to the hospital on the 13th of May (Saturday) for another round of the same treatment as what i did for the previous one, manage to be released on the 17th which is a Wednesday. Really thank God as this time the negative side effects weren't that strong compared to the previous treatment. Well, there's three reasons i could think of that reduce the effect. First one would be due to the fact that the doctor reduced the strength of the chemotherapy, so that i could take it better, as he said the previous one was a little, erm, hard for me i think. Secondly the doctor gave me more dosage of folinic acid, which helps the body in some way from getting destroyed by the chemotherapy i think. And thirdly would be God's grace. Well, I don't really know which one is actually the real answer to the lessening of the side effects, it could be all, but as Pastor Siew Teng said:" God's grace is above all the rest!" Ha-ha, yeah, how true. Really thank God that this time around i don't need to suffer from the bleeding of my sore lips and having to like wash my mouth every morning to get rid of the blood and stuff, ouchies. Ah, and not to forget about the nausea too, did not vomit as badly compared to last time, was able to recover quicker, and right now i don't have the occasional nausea feeling every now and then, which really is a bonus. Thank God for His grace and mercy ha-ha.
Okay, but somehow i manage to get a fever last Thursday, not really sure how i got it, but that really worried me and my mom as it could mean i am attacked by an infection or my white cells have dropped really low till i cannot defend myself. So, immediately the next day i went to meet up with the doctor to have a blood check. Turns out that the blood count seems alright, which means i just got an ordinary fever out of nowhere i guess, but as a precaution i was asked to take two kinds of antibiotics which cost a bunch to prevent any infection. That fever wouldn't be so bad if it hadn't made my stomach go haywire and made me vomited badly again, but thank God that the serious vomiting was only a one day event, and i was back to normal on Saturday again.
Man, i really got to stop typing the word 'vomit', ha-ha. My friend was complaining to me the other day as to why was all of my blogs only about vomiting nowadays. Ughh, not that i want to, but it's just something that i really don't like that's why, ha-ha.
Hmmm, going through all this pain and suffering has one good point, at least it lets you look up to heaven. Ha-ha, no, is not that i am thinking of dying, but when you suffer really bad, you will somehow only truly know how peaceful and joyful heaven is, and it makes you yearn to go back to the Father, to have sweet rest instead of staying here on earth. Is just like what Joyce said the other day during youth fellowship, that if God let us enjoy and have fun and be merry all year round on earth without a single worry or suffering, we will never strive our best to be with the Lord and look up to heaven. Instead we will be too contend with the world and that will ultimately lead us to sin as we don't look forward to God and His glory in heaven. Well, heaven is our final destination anyway, a happy place, and where our 'real' treasure is. It will be kind of dumb if we like try so hard to store treasures on earth only knowing that none of it will be going to heaven. It's like building a sand castle by the sand, when the tides rises, the whole 'kingdom' will fall and be wipe out away into the sea. So why not build our treasure in heaven instead, so it wouldn't go to waste? But i myself got to discipline myself to do it, easier said then done as they say.
As i am now doing my devotion on the part where Moses lead the people out of Egypt to the promise land, i sometimes always laugh at the Israelites, especially during the part where Moses goes up Mount Sinai and receive God's commandments and while he's up there the people made a calf idol for themselves since Moses took so long to come down (wow, a mouthful). I laugh because i think they are just too foolish. They have seen God's power as He lead them out of Egypt: opened the Red Sea, provide manna out of thin air, water from the rock and yet they dare to create an idol right in front of God. It seems unthinkable. Yet, when i discussed with my parents they say that they did so because all of us are born to sin, and we are just too sinful that it actually drives out our fear from God. It did not bother me much till i noticed that i myself was the same. When i am sick and suffering i call to God for help, asking for His strength and grace, depending my all on Him. But yet, when i recover from the pain and was feeling much better and healthier, i tend to 'forget' God and try to entertain myself with games, music, video and other sorts of media, reducing much devotion time compared to when i am sick, and somehow feeling like i don't need God 'that' much.
Okay, that makes me realise that i am so much like the Israelites during that time all a sudden. Suffer= God is there, everything okay= God isn't there. Arghhsss, i better change the mentality of mine and know that my life is in God's hands, that it is only through the grace of God and through the love of Jesus Christ that i might live each day for His purpose. Now i know why God send Jesus, cause if He did not, we are all in big trouble as sinners ha-ha. We can't stop sinning. But through Jesus we are forgiven. Hmmm, forgiven-sinners?
Oh, and yeah, if you all are wondering what games kept me so occupied from blogging this few days (i mean weeks), it will be because i have been playing many old games like err, Red Alert!, Sim Tower, Theme Hospital, Baldur's Gate 2, Battle Realms... i think Red alert was one of the first games i had on my first pc, any game older than that will be educational games like 'Putt Putt save the zoo' and those sort (go figure). Somehow old games seems more fun, in some kind of way. Firstly, old games seems much simpler, which makes it more fun. Secondly, my laptop isn't actually a gaming machine, so playing 'old games' allows me to enjoy lag free gaming. And finally, it allows you to see how eh 'stupid' (boy, wish i wouldn't use that word but i guess it's the best way to describe it) you were when you were young compared to the knowledge you have now, ha-ha!(games that seems so hard during young become a walk through the park now) Then again, knowledge is something you acquire forever, blek.
Then again, i have tons of Archie comics through my elder cousins who has a huge collection of them (elder somehow make them sound really old, but guess it's because i respect them... excuses, excuses...), which provided me with much laughs during the time in hospital and at home and made me defer my intentions to write my blog day after day because i get addicted reading it. Ha-ha, thank you so much ya, if you are reading my blog, as i did not manage to thank you guys properly for lending the comics to me.
So, guess that's all for today, thank God for giving me the will power to once again write some stuff on my blog hehe, and thank God for allowing me to recover at home right now and enjoy this kind of comfort. Now, just got to make sure i put God first in everything, and focus on things that are eternal, ha-ha! Better not repeat history as they say.
Bah~ Going to the hospital again tomorrow, normally it would not be such of a big deal, but somehow I am kind of scared this time to get readmitted. Probably because I know how this chemo-treatment will affect me badly, vomiting and the sores at the lips, ughh.
Only God can save and heal me now as I am 100 percent sure that there's no way humanly possible I could actually stop the negative effects from happening. I am able to withstand the sore lips as that's just, err, pain, but I just can't stand the vomiting and nausea part, it's just... terrible... I must say, ha-ha. Don't like that feeling. Another reason that I am scared is because I haven't actually recovered from the nauseatic feeling since the last treatment; don't know what's taking so long to heal it.
Then again, today's church anniversary was really a big encouragement and I was really glad that I could attend it. Well, I know that many relatives, church members and friends are constantly praying for me, but today during the church anniversary I could really see how some church members actually pray so earnestly for me, was really encourage by that. Well, before the event started Aunty Magdalene shared her testimony with me, and then Pastor Lai also came and prayed for me. And after the anniversary, Pastor Thomas Chin and his wife prayed for me at home. Somehow I was really glad to see the pastors (Pastor Lai and Pastor Thomas Chin) as I don't get to see them often. Ha-ha, God really sends many people to look after me after all, to share my burdens together with me and lift up my spirits when I am down.
I don't know if I got this right, but I remember Pastor Lai telling me today that I would be an instrument of God through the healing, as God has a purpose in everything He does. Well, I totally agree with that, God does everything with a purpose, although somehow our foolish human minds just can't seem to understand it all at first, but God's will is the perfect will. Well, I guess I would be able to use this whole experience of the healing, to tell the world (or maybe I start with my circle of friends first, ha-ha) of how wonderful God's love is to me. But even if the healing doesn't happens at the expected time, in all things, I guess we got to still trust in the Lord, for He knows what's best for us, although it may be hard to take in at first, ke-ke.
In some ways, it seems like I am forever in a debt to God for the healing and to thank His love for me, I would need to fulfill the purpose that He has for me to do. Then again, thinking about it, all of us believers are somehow forever in a debt to God, for He sacrificed Jesus, His one and only Son, to die on the cross to set us free from sin and death. And no matter how much 'good deeds' we do, we could never pay God back for that sacrifice or save ourselves from our own sins. But through God's grace and mercy, we could live each day knowing that we are save by faith in Christ Jesus and not by works. And there's no more debt to pay through His grace. Imagine what would happen to us if we need to strive for our own salvation.
Thus, to thank God's wonderful love for us, shouldn't all of us strive to work hard for Christ in joy and love?
Ah, wanna write something long, but guess i can't for today, as the church anniversary will be held tomorrow (or today, since it's already midnight) and i got to sleep early otherwise i can't wake up at eight in the morning... got to use to wake up around ten to eleven nowadays.
Well, guess i just got to thank God that as for now i could attend the church's 30th anniversary, was looking forward to this event like last year as i thought last year was the 30th birthday of the church, and i knew every like 10 years there's gonna be some big event, was rather disappointed then that it wasn't keke, miscounted.
It wouldn't be much of a big deal, but since i was most probably going to university this year, i knew i was going to miss the anniversary unless something happen. And viola, God answered a prayer of mine even before i cried up to Him, keke. Give thanks in all circumstances ya? Ha-ha.
And well the doctor also allowed me to stay for the anniversary and only readmit to the hospital on Saturday, so that's another prayer answered.
Thinking about it, God answer a lot of prayers of mine, and somehow i only notice it when i sit down quietly... thinking... about God or when i am suffering. Makes me wonder, how come i could only see God's goodness only during that time, when His goodness is all around, all the time. He-he, guess i got to learn how to thank His goodness and faithfulness to me, forever and a day.
Ughh, each treatment seems to become even harder instead of easier, opposite of what the doctor said, that's why never trust them, ha-ha!
I vomited so much that i kinda lost count of how many times i vomited already. And the worst part of the treatment this time is that i can't seem to cancel of the suffering effect. Last time if i get a fever or sore somewhere i just need to suffer maybe 30 minutes to try to force myself to sleep, and once that is done, i can like, you know, forget most of the stuff since you are sleeping, sort of like natural pain-killers. But this nausea and vomiting thingy will make me stay awake, as somehow after a few hours of sleeping (usually just 2 hours) my stomach will start to make me feel so uncomfortable that i got to wake up, and when i wake up that means, uh-oh, vomit time. Ah, sleeping is such a joy given by God i must say.
That's why i got readmitted again on Friday even though i came out on, err, Monday was it? Scared that i get dehydrated because of vomiting and i was feeling really really uncomfortable.
Well, the mouth sore also seem to be more scary than last time, whole lips and the skins in the mouth were bleeding, and i was virtually swallowing saliva (plus blood) every now and then when i sleep, as it keeps coming out because of the sore. Thank God though, that there weren't any infections on the tongue, otherwise i would never be able to eat anything with the ulcers on my tongue.
Ah, but thank the almighty Lord that i am able to come home today and feel much better, finally manage to eat a "proper" meal, too! (now i really want to eat McDonalds and KFC, or maybe roti canai perhaps). Hope that the doctor would postpone my next treatment as i really need some rest and i hope to attend the church 30th anniversary too keke.
Hm mm, at least i manage to watch 'The Incredibles' when i was in the hospital ha-ha, miss that movie last time in the cinemas. God's many blessings i guess keke.
Ughh, wasn't feeling so well today...
The yellow chemo-drug, according to the doctor, isn't as strong as what i had during the 2nd treatment. That's true in a way that it doesn't effect my white blood cell count much, but untrue as it totally took away my appetite, gave me a slight fever, and made me vomit for the first time during chemotherapy.
Guess that means the after effect isn't strong, but the instant effect really killed me somehow.
That's why after 24 hours when the chemo-drug has completed me and my mom were singing: "Hallelujah, Jesus is Alive!". Well, firstly it's because it is a relieve to be off that drug and secondly it's Easter day after all, Jesus resurrection, He's alive! And He lives in ME!
Had this really weird dream about needing to pay RM 40 just to sleep at a certain kind of position and pay another 20 bucks for some sort of add-on comfort, most probably that's what happen when your brain goes haywire because of the fever.
Still feeling a little bit nausea and feel like vomiting every now and then. Hope i would be able to recover by morning so i would be able to eat something at least, been fasting for a day now as i couldn't eat anything. But as for now, thank you God for His grace and mercy that allowed me to pass by another day.
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